March 23, 2016

SPRING FORWARD. HOMMAGE shares its favourite signs that Spring is upon us.

By The HOMMAGE Man In hommage

Ready for Spring? HOMMAGE is looking for the signals that winter is close behind us and the Spring season is nearly upon us. We’d love to hear from you. What are the signs for you that signal the Spring equinox?!! Here’s a few of our favourites.

1. The calendar. We’ve come to count on March roaring in like a Lion and going out like a Lamb. April showers blooming May flowers. We know it doesn’t always go like this, but the calendar continues to guide our expectations. Ah, Lions. These big cats are grooming kings. Cleaning themselves continuously to get rid of any smell they have, in hopes that the gazelle sauntering on by doesn’t get a whiff of him and run the other way. Unlike the Lion who enjoys grooming himself, the Lamb is going to need a technician and a grooming salon (or a “blocking stand”). He’s also less worried about his smell. Ladies know the type! Give him the gift of grooming that everyone benefits from.

2. Daylight saving time. The day light is longer and that means more natural light for grooming. Good thing, as several studies have recently surfaced that report men spend more grooming time in the morning than women. We heard somewhere that a man spends 3,300 hours or 138 days of his life shaving his whiskers. The shave alone justifies his grooming time! And, let’s give him a break. He deserves time to gift himself.

3. Static hair goes away and the humidifier gets unplugged. The dry, cold winter weather diminishes and there’s finally more moisture in the air. It also helps when we can put a way that knit hat and rubber soled boots (that can cause static electricity in any grooming routine, by-the-way).

4. Birds are singing in the morning, again, as Spring migration begins. In winter temperatures, birds will drink from a heated birdbath; but, if the temperature is well below freezing, they will not bathe in it and get their feathers wet. Grooming? Birds don’t “groom.” Rather, birds “preen.” Preening is a bird’s way of grooming its feathers to keep them in the best condition. When preening, birds use their own prep oil that they get from their preen gland, near the base of the tail.

5. Bees are buzzing. Birds are back. Birds and the Bees…the Flowers and the Trees. Let’s talk about Love! Did you know that a trip to the barber in Turkey can up your chances of getting shagged. Or so the story goes. We’re told the experience includes a haircut, straight razor shave, eyebrow thread, a massage, and a flaming skewer ear singe to remove stray hairs. When done, your barber asks, “Something for the weekend, sir?” The phrase, which originated in Britain, was the barber asking if you’d like a condom (since most guys who just got torched in the face while getting groomed had a 90% chance of getting shagged).” Now we know Austin Power’s secret– that man of International Mystery.

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